I had a conversation with a friend the other day and he was talking about getting married and do this and that with his new fiancee. As I continued to talk with him I finally asked him, ” how long have you been together?”. To my surprise he said four years. Then, he dropped another bomb on me and said that they had one kid together and now were expecting another.
They were living together, shared bank accounts, rooms, and just about everything else imaginable known to a married couple. As I continued to probe some questions to him he finally began to realize that some of things that he was saying was just out of order. “Well, Ahmad what I’m thinking about doing is getting married when the time is right.”
“Uhhh. What makes the time right? You already did all of the other permanent things. What’s the holdup now?”
He stopped and thought about it. Nothing seemed to ring a bell in his head.
To interrupt his thought process and in hopes of fine tuning some common sense. I asked in a different way, ” what does the perfect time look like? Is it when the risks look as if they will be no more? Or, does it have to be when it doesn’t look so daunting?” The latter question was nothing but an interpretation of the former.
“Ahmad, I know what you’re saying and we’re going to be getting married in September.” That revelation told me that he was not one hundred percent comfortable with telling everyone, because of what they would think.
As someone who studies the Bible it made me think of the Scripture in the book of James 4:15: “Your life is like the morning fog-it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” As I thought about it. It means that we do not have very long here on Earth. Most older people that I have the pleasure of speaking with. They always seem to say the same common theme: “All of those years flew by me. The older that I get, the faster time seems to go.”
Now this is not something that is just related to marriage, but to many of the meaningful aspects in our lives. Maybe it’s hitting the gym more often; maybe that trip you wanted to take; maybe to be married sometime down the road; and maybe to see that relative that you haven’t seen in awhile. How about getting that photo album together that you always wanted to have taken care of. Why the wait! Waiting is nothing but wasted time. Just sitting there in the air with many seconds of missed opportunities that will never come back again.
I’m not immune to such a way of living. There are a lot of things that I wished that I could have done at a younger age; which now has become a past time that I am ineligible to do now. What about starting that business? It’s right there in front of you. Grab it, attack it, take it down. If it doesn’t work out, it simply wasn’t meant to be, but to not have the willingness to fail, there is nothing to pursue. Not taking the risk to fail is more detrimental than not trying. That is something that lasts forever. That’s a void that could never go away. It remains as space stored in your head, with the inevitable “What if?” The time here is not long, but very rich for opportunities to be taken advantage of. So if there is delay, I ask you as I asked the young man. “Why the Wait?”