TAKING A STEP BACK


Have you ever ran into someone who has always revved up a  situation that is not a matter of life and death? In ROTC (the military’s commissioning program) they taught us that there are two people in the world. Those who think and those who react. Those who react typically don’t have anything to offer to a situation. If bullets are flying off, there is great reason to give haste. But, if someone is running and screaming about a washer not working, there is cause to pause. First off, there are a million people in the world that will probably never have a washer machine in their lifetime. Second, there are literally people living with some disease that will be cured for the time that they are here on Earth. In other words, our problems are what I like to call “First World” problems. Most problems here in the United States can be replaced. Replaced means that it may take a few days from now to get it back, but with a few bucks something else will be there. I have the luxury of counseling a lot of “over the top” individuals and what I find them to be is not thinking about the situation; as opposed to looking for the quick fix. The quick fix will just drive you crazy, because there is really never a quick fix to most situations. Everything is a process. Heck, most children are in the womb for nine months before they are born! People want to lose weight and give up too fast, because they think that their lives are like a computer. It simply doesn’t work that way.
Operating like that will always lead to disappointment. The great news is that not everything is a panic. There are some things that take time to develop. It’s the same with medicine. Medicine needs to be applied and worked into the blood stream over time to take effect. If a medicine works too hard and changes instantly, then that could be fatal. I personally would never want change to happen in an instant. How many people have ever met that have jumped from one relationship to the other just to find out that they have failed again. It’s a vicious cycle that could have fatal results withing itself. Not to mention the possibility of diseases that can come with physical intimacy.

Getting back to the point, if you know someone that can’t keep their composure in an uncomfortable situation; or you are “that” person, try this. Ask the person to think about how they are presenting themselves. Most people that are over reactive don’t know that others are watching and cause themselves to be a topic of discussion for the next hour. To not think so is just naive. People talk and the streets are always watching is what my father taught me at a very young age and as I got older I could tell that that observation has never changed. Just sit on a busy sidewalk. Watch someone walk by and look at the spectators start whispering about their smell, hair, the walk, etc. If they aren’t talking they are definitely thinking. It’s the most common form of human communication. I always thought that people always knew this from a young age, but as I got older I learned that it could never be further form the truth. Stepping back has always taught me so much. I was that guy who not only watched the performers, but the spectators all at the same time. I mastered the skill when I was 15 playing a varsity football game. Don’t ask me how. I just made it happen. More of that in a later post. This is just simple social intelligence that can be applied. When someone asks themselves the question it will surprise so many that they reacted so witless.

The second question is to ask, “How is this going to impact me a couple of years from now. Or, will this have any impact at all?” If there’s no effect then it is something not really worth stressing or creating a new conversation about. It’s true. Some people are just not aware. So take a step back and observe. It’s a pretty big picture with small strokes in there!

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